If memory serves me correctly, the Golden Rule of Christianity is to treat others the way you’d like to be treated.
My new Golden Rule is to coach myself as I coach others.
In my travels–especially my solo travels thus far–I’m starting to more deeply and fully apply my own health coaching style to myself and my life story of transformation.
It’s one thing to encourage a beautiful, willing client who is investing her time, energy, and money in her own personal growth, health, and development:
To be gentle with herself.
To gradually crowd out unhealthy foods by incorporating more healthy ones.
To avoid prescribing a certain diet or meal plan.
To resist the urge to set a hard and fast deadline by which she is to be 100% plant based or raw or to have lost 20 pounds or to have established social support.
To nonjudgmentally support her when she relapses and emotionally eats or fails to set a boundary.
To unconditionally hold her in positive regard exactly as she is exactly where she is at RIGHT NOW whilst also holding a vision of her highest divine expression.
It’s effortless and natural for me to do this with my clients. It’s my default compassionate coaching mode. It’s who I am when I embody my higher self. And it’s how I know that coaching is part of what I am here to do, my divinely sanctioned purpose.
Where I’ve struggled is extending that same loving attitude, approach, and awareness to myself.
I learned to "coach" myself the opposite way:
To judge, criticize, berate, pressure, impose, force, and punish.
To take great leaps and drastic measures before I’m ready.
To go all in and demand 100% compliance and perfection.
And then when I lapse, to be so hard on myself that I swing in the opposite direction to numb myself from self-punishing, critical, and judgmental thoughts. Insert addiction of choice here.
Where did this come from? I’m not here to point fingers and say it originated from this or that person or institution.
What’s true is that it came from people who were "coached" in the same manner by others who were "coached" similarly and on and on back through generations and lifetimes.
There is no one person or entity to blame, and that’s not what I’m interested in anyway.
What I’m concerned with is learning to coach myself more and more fully aligned with how I coach others.
I commit to ejecting the harsh coaching program when I notice it beginning to play. I can take that tape out and set it aside. I can give thanks for the utility it has had in the past and pray that it play no more.
And then I can simply revert to coaching myself the way I unconditionally love and support a beautiful client on her own remarkable transformation journey.