Today I did a bit of Byron Katie’s work about “Judging Your Neighbor.” I revisited the anger I felt toward a family member for making a huge life decision that I did not support.
I processed the emotions I felt and what I wanted to happen in that situation. I also acknowledged the thoughts I held about this person.
Ultimately, what I realized is that I want freedom from the desire to control someone else. I want to be able to respect the people I love enough to trust them to make healthy decisions and to give them the freedom and space to do so. I want to be able to compassionately accept their choices no matter what I think about said choices.
It’s hard not to judge and want to help (read: control) the people we love when we “know” they are making mistakes or unhealthy decisions by our own standards. But this is such a lie! We do not know what’s best for them. They are their own masters, connected to their own source and higher power. Whether or not they are tapped into that higher power or not is another story and is entirely their business, not mine.
I am grateful to be learning new skills and frameworks to release anger and judgments. Resentments are a heavy burden to carry in the minimalist, free-spirited life I endeavor to live.